Sunday 2 October 2011

The Day She Died

IF YOU READ THE ENTIRE THING, I WILL GREATLY APPRECIATE IT! :)

I would just like to first off say that this story is about me losing my step mom in April 2011 when I was and am currently 18 years old. Her name was Lisa and she was only 35. I had known her since I was 9 years old, which at this point is half of my life. I wanna say that she was so young and healthy, she was a typical girly girl who enjoyed reading gossip magazines, watching reality shows and sipping on fruity drinks. She was so hilarious and sarcastic and put a smile on my face every day. Whenever I was upset, she always knew what to say and how to handle the situation. I will miss her greatly.

There's always that one thing you never hope to hear. I sure as hell thought I would never hear the news. It was mid-April 2011 and I was lying on my mom's bed checking my Facebook. There was a message from my dad. This is exactly what it said: "Hi Emma. We are going thru a bit of a hard time right now. Lisa was diagnosed with leukemia on Wednesday. We are at the cancer clinic now and prob will be for a while. Hope all is well with you guys. Go Canucks!" How are you supposed to react to that? My jaw just dropped. I was completely shocked. How could this happen? Lisa was the last person on Earth I ever thought this would happen too. I most certainly thought she would pull through this. There was no doubt in my mind. She was so young and healthy no one saw it coming. I knew it would be a long, tough road to recovery. I believed in so strongly she was going to fight it.

Almost a week later, I was lying on the couch late at night watching TV. My older sister, Erin walks into the room and asks me, "Have you read dad's wall?" (on facebook). I said no. She told me people were saying to him, to "be strong" and "she wouldn't want you to be sad." My heart dropped as I read the many messages. It didn't exactly say what had happened, but I knew it wasn't good. I didn't want to believe she was gone, I wanted to hear it from my dad himself, not from Facebook. I didn't get much sleep that night. I kept thinking about my dad, and what he was going through at that moment. I just didn't want to believe it.

The next day, my Grandma and Grandpa stopped by my house. I knew this wasn't good. When my Grandma said Lisa passed away last night, my heart dropped, tears flooded my eyes. It was the biggest shock in my entire life and I can honestly say that. There's no way to describe how I was feeling or what I was thinking. All I could do was cry. When I talked to my dad on the phone, I just broke down. I was speechless, I just kept telling him how sorry I was and how much I loved him. The way he spoke to me was absolutely heartbreaking. I hated to see my dad in pain. I felt so horrible.

About 2 weeks later was her funeral, or should I say, Celebration of Life. I had never been to a funeral before and I didn't know what to expect. My whole family was there, along with hers and so many of her friends and co-workers. Many of her friends spoke, talking about her and her life. There were so many laughs. It was the hardest to watch my dad speak. That killed me inside. He had to take a few breaks, but he did so well. I'm so proud of him.

I still struggle with the loss of my step mother. It's hard to know I'll never see her again or hear her voice. Many things remind me of her, and when they do, I can't help but smile. I know she's looking down on us smiling. Rest in paradise, Lisa. We all love you so much

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